Best Andy Borowitz books
The 50 Funniest American Writers*: An Anthology of Humor from Mark Twain to The Onion
Best price for this book: $ 9.59
The Borowitz Report: The Big Book of Shockers
Best price for this book: $ 4.97
From the man The Wall Street Journal hailed as a "Swiftean satirist" comes the most shocking book ever written!
The Borowitz Report: The Big Book of Shockers, by award-winning fake journalist Andy Borowitz, contains page after page of "news stories" too hot, too controversial, too -- yes, shocking -- for the mainstream press to handle. Sample the groundbreaking reporting from the news organization whose motto is "Give us thirty minutes -- we'll waste it."
An Unexpected Twist (Kindle Single)
Best price for this book: $ 0
The Republican Playbook
Best price for this book: $ 5.17
After the 2004 presidential debates, eagle-eyed observers hypothesized about the rectangular bulge tucked inside George W.'s suit jacket, visible in images shown around the world. Was it a radio receiver, allowing Karl Rove to feed the president complete sentences hed never form on his own Perhaps it was a remote-control device that enabled Dick Cheney to operate W. like a robot. Nah. The real explanation was much simpler, and yet far more disturbing: It was The Republican Playbook.
Required reading for every Republican candidate, office-holder, or super-secret covert operative, The Republican Playbook contains all the schemes, scams, and dirty tricks used to attain victory since Richard Nixon commissioned the first edition back in 1972. Did you know:
-President Gerald Ford's notorious clumsiness wasnt caused by an inner-ear disorder -- the Playbook stashed in his left rear pants pocket threw off his equilibrium. -A chapter entitled "Deny Knowing Anything About Anything" was particularly helpful to President Ronald Reagan.
Packed with detailed instructions on essential topics like how to run a smear campaign, how to cover a leak, and how to plant one, plus diagrams for fully functioning voting booth/ballot shredders (to be used in Florida, Ohio, and other battleground states), The Republican Playbook is a must-read if were ever going to survive the 2006 elections.
Who Moved My Soap?: The CEO's Guide to Surviving Prison: The Bernie Madoff Edition
Best price for this book: $ 2.75
While many books are offered for the CEO who aims to survive the cutthroat competition of the corporate jungle, not a single one offers to help those same CEOs when the law catches up with them. That is, until now.
This book offers valuable advice for those executives who have cooked the books, and now find themselves paying the price. Borowitz covers all aspects of prison life, from exit strategies (prison-break tips) to ways of keeping the business acumen sharp (how to make the Warden your most valuable employee) to prison cell feng shui and even self-defense (how to use this book as a deadly weapon). Convicted corporate executives should look at this time spent in prison as an opportunity, rather than a disadvantage. New business contacts can be established, new management strategies tested-time can even be spent working on the golf game so it says sharp for ten, twenty, however many years.
Direct from Bernie Madoff's cellmate, Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison is loaded with helpful tips, including:
Don't forget, Who Moved My Soap? will be both small enough to fit in the pocket of your prison uniform, but also thick enough to hollow out and hide cigarettes in!
Who Moved My Soap? is a must read for any white collar criminal. CEOs headed to the Big House will now have something to read to help them pass the time. It's also a must read for those of us who were fleeced by them.
Trillionaire Next Door: The Greedy Investor's Guide to Day Trading
Best price for this book: $ 18.95
Many day trading books on the market today contain dubious advice, but never before has there been a book guaranteed to contain 100 percent dubious advice--until now.
When Getting Rich Quick Just Isn't Fast Enough!
The Trillionaire Next Door is that book. Inside you'll find:
- The rock-solid, scientific principles of day trading explained in language so clear and concise it's almost insulting
- A glossary of key economic terms for the day trader, like "mousepad" and "click"
- Advice for the long-term investor: which stocks to hold in your portfolio for five, ten, fifteen minutes or more
- Confusing, meaningless graphs and charts
- Bad math
- And much, much more--but since day traders have short attention spans, not too much more
"If The Trillionaire Next Door were a stock, I'd buy it, sell it, buy it, sell it, and buy it again--it's that good!"--Stacy Gellman, day trader
Rationalizations to Live By
Best price for this book: $ 1.99
Look how long the French live.
All of this shopping is good for the economy.
This doesn't really count as sex.
I'm earning frequent-flyer miles.
Video games are good for my kid's motor skills.
Picasso didn't do his best work until he was 70.
He'll just spend it on liquor.
I only smoke at parties.
And, of course, the universal: Everybody does it.